..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize