I have demons in me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize