The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
