it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
