Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
