So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
