Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
