And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
