I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
