I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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