If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
