Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
soo... how was my night?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
