I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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