hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
