I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
