she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize