I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
