Plan B is the new Plan A
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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