Please, let me fuck your mom
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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