What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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