Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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