meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
