i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
