Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever

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(630): View more from Illinois

Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games

Fav 10 4554 849
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(323): View more from California

You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave

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(317): View more from Indiana

Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing

Fav 9 1541 1085
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(217): View more from Illinois

She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell

Fav 6 839 1650
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(540): View more from Virginia

Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?

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