i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
