How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
third nipple confirmed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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