i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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