We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
