I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
