I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
