nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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