Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
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I think this baby is eyeing my beer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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