Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
