I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't put those talents on a resume
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
