That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
