if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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