In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
That's when you crack a 10am beer
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
