I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
