i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize