11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
