I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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