I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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