He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
