R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My ass is underappreciated
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
