So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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