Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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