Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
