She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize