You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
