i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
