she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
