I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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