Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
