I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Come on in and take your pants off
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