Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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