Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
