something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize