Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
