so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
