After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
from now on my penis is your penis
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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