Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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