I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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